Why You’re Getting Ghosted by Women on Dating Apps (And How to Stop It)
Let’s get one thing straight: if a woman matched with you on a dating app, she was into you. That means she looked at your profile, found you attractive, and liked what you had to say.
You passed the first test. You got the swipe.
But if she ghosted you after that? That’s also on you.
Most men want to believe that ghosting is just part of online dating - that women are flaky, that they change their minds for no reason, or that they weren’t serious to begin with. The truth is far more uncomfortable: you blew it. And if you want to stop being ghosted, it’s time to take full responsibility.
Your Profile Is the Advert - You Are the Product
Think of your profile like an ad for a product. If she matched with you, the ad worked. But if she then decided to stop using the product, it's because the product didn’t deliver.
So what went wrong? There are only a few possibilities:
1. You took too long to say anything.
2. You messaged her, but what you said put her off.
3. You didn't take too long to say something, what you said didn't put her off, but you took too long to set up a date, and she got bored.
That’s it. Really. Almost every case of ghosting after a match can be traced to one of those three things.
That is it. If you master how to get matches by having a great profile, message matches in good time with something that will build attraction instead of extinguish it, and organise a date, you will never get ghosted again on dating apps before meeting the woman.
Own Every Ghosting Experience - That’s How You Get Better
Men who attract women know this: if she ghosted you, she gave you a chance and you didn’t deliver. That’s not something to sulk about - it’s a gift. Every ghosting is a lesson. Every unmatched conversation is a mini autopsy. Learn from each one, and soon you’ll be getting past that early stage every time.
The guys who get results on dating apps aren’t lucky - they’re skilled. They’ve put in the reps, learned from the mistakes, and refined the process.
When Should You Message Her?
The safe answer I tell my clients is half a day after matching. Don’t wait days. It doesn't make you seem like you have a really fun life and didn't have time. Plus, no one wants to date someone that takes ages to text back. But don’t jump on it within five minutes either - that can read as overeager, and subconsciously give off a hint of desperation.
Ultimately, the best advice is to just be normal! Think about when you’d usually use your phone - lunch breaks, after work, etc. Use that as your cue.
The First Date: Don’t Overcook the Pre-Game
How do you get the first date? Too many men waste time trying to build a deep connection before asking for the date. The truth is, very few people actually like using their phones to text strangers. It's boring. You can connect in the first 20 minutes of a date more than a week of texting. You need to quickly deliver on the product your profile offered, and then give her a date invitation that she can't say no to. Everyone has their own methods for this. Mine has been refined over many years and tested on thousands of women. If you're interested the details are in my free "Get a Girlfriend in 30 Days" PDF.
Thanks for reading — hope this helped!
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